5/6/2008 

Frustrated! 

It is so incredibly frustrating and degrading when I go to the mall, and everything that seems cute is apparently designed for a size 2. I just hate wanting to wear those adorbale little halter tops or capree pants, but I feel like I have to cover up all the time because of my weight. (Don't even get me started on swim suit season...) The insecurities that surround my weight problem are incredible- I guess most women feel like this to a certain extent, but it's just so odd to me that I don't think that I'm truly an insecure person. In fact, I think that if it weren't for my weight issues, I would actually be a very bold and animated person. Isn't it akward how such a seemingly insignificant thing like being a little overweight can literally change, or rather hide, the person you could be? I've learned that I can't change what society considers to be beautiful, and I can't really even manipulate the way I feel about myself for being overweight, but I CAN take charge of my body. Granted, I may never be a size 2, but I am going to look cute in a two piece if it's the last thing I do!! 

5/12/2008 

FINALLY! 

So, after last week's episode, I decided to really get serious about loosing the weight once and for all. In the past, I've been known to thrown all my enthusiam into a diet in the first two weeks, and then take a permanent vacation from it. This past week, I have been very good about sticking to the rules, keeping my weight logged, counting my portions, planning meals, and I even managed to slide three workout sessions into my schedule. The results were in today, and I have lost 2 pounds!!!!! I am not only excited about the weight loss, but what's really neat is that it doesn't feel like I'm on a diet. I don't feel this week like I want to go binge because I've been on a starvation kick or because I've deprived myself- I feel like I'm actually learning to eat and exercise correctly- and no, it's not hard- and yes, it is rewarding!!! I can't wait to see where I'm at next week! I think that I've actually found something that might work for me in the long term.